I Don’t Want to Hold Your Hand
April 25, 2017•Uncategorized
Sounds About Right:)
Remember that moment. You know the one I’m talking about. When your cute adorable child that always held your hand, looks up and says…”do I gotta”? “I don’t want to hold your hand mom, please”…”Are you embarrassed of me? “Um, no”…”It’s just” “never mind, I don’t want to talk about it”. “Well, if you’re sure that everything is okay”. “Everything is fine mom”! “You kinda hurt my feelings but I do really understand”.
This is a very normal conversation with a child heading into puberty. I know this for sure. My oldest will be 28 soon and my baby is 13. I’ve seen the signs and have lived through it with both genders. From my experience, girls are definitely a bit more challenging than boys. They both have so many hormonal changes occurring within their bodies but girls get the double whammy. Between the changes to the outside of their body and the internal ones, they have a challenge.
One day they’re walking around like a normal kid and the next, they have to figure out how to wear these odd looking pads in their underwear. If that’s not strange enough, try talking your daughter through the process of inserting a tampon. Now, that’s comical. Ohhhh, there are instructions!! But have you ever tried to follow some of that shit…It’s sooooo confusing. It makes for some definite bonding with your daughter and you’ll have a good laugh together. Ohhhh and don’t forget that her boobs are growing also. You’ll have to encourage your daughter, who is very self conscious at this age to shop for bras. Good luck with that and thank goodness for online shopping!!! That has truly made buying bras much easier and more comfortable for girls. I never experienced weird moments like that with my son. Easy is the only word that comes to mind. He just loved to play with his friends and ride his bike. Puberty definitely wasn’t as dramatic for him as my girls.
Both genders like to have a bit more independence during puberty and to have their alone time. They are eager to show their parents that they can handle time away from them and their decision making skills are changing also. I noticed this a lot especially with my younger daughter. I was with her a lot more during this time than my older children. She likes to take the initiative to bake alone now, to arrange sleepovers, to help find items at the grocery store, to shop alone with friends at the mall (of course I’m close by)…and she shares her own money with friends if shopping and they are low on cash. These are wonderful changes but they fluctuate with her moods…She can be testy also and quick to question me with her new found confidence that tags along with puberty. I believe that this attitude is reserved more for us parents. If it’s another parent, they’re like sugar and spice. But again, that’s puberty…they are changing and are going to test their limits to see how far they can go. I find that a lot of love, patience, understanding, guidance, being a great listener, and having a sense of humor has truly helped me with my daughter.
I always try to think back to my own experiences during puberty and remember how weird I felt sometimes…and alone…and scared…and this calms me during whatever is unraveling my daughter. I also know that this stage of her life is momentary and like every else in life…it will be over with before we know it.