Are You Emotionally Unavailable

I’m sure you met this person, probably dated them and some of us married them.   Sometimes it’s even us.   Life’s circumstances that we all go through can shut down our ability to emotionally connect with others.  I know that I’ve hit that wall when the last thing I want to do it is to talk about anything.  That’s when I know I’ve checked out.  

It doesn’t happen a lot but I feel like it’s my brain, as well as my hearts way of protecting itself.  It also sucks if you’re dating someone that may be going through their own problems from past pain and the way they deal is to detach from conversations.  If something does come up, they divert away or make an excuse so the subject is dropped.  I don’t know about the rest of you but that’s not a great sign for a lasting future.  Sweeping issues aside never solves anything and before long, that swept aside problem is HUGE..I would rather deal with things head on as a couple and figure it out together.  

During the final year of what was left of my marriage, my husband was in full blown emotion shut down.  It was one of the worst years of my life.  Living in the same house with someone that is totally shut down is exhausting.  The light’s were on in his head but no one was home.  I’ve never felt more invisible, alone and utterly on edge.  When someone has checked out of a relationship, it has everyone else walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them.

Most of the time when someone’s emotionally detaching, it’s to protect themselves.  I get it..I honestly do.  It’s so much easier to stay in the safe zone of anything.  If you don’t put your heart out there, you can’t get hurt…If everything is done your way, you won’t be upset…If no one disrupts your life, your routine won’t be skewed…If topics that make you feel uncomfortable are avoided…you have control…These are just some that I have witnessed from my own self and my own situations.  

If you find yourself being emotionally unavailable in your relationships, it’s all about awareness and making healthy changes in those areas.   We are all humans and no one wants to get hurt…I don’t believe that we intentionally want to hurt the people that love us either..

About the Author

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Single Mom, former USAF soldier, fitness instructor, personal trainer, loves life, loves people. My goal in life is to spread positivity and show others that there is a better way.



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